Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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