Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
