he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize