I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize