Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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