scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
