I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
