See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize