I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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