he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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