you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
50% drunk capacity currently
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
