nut hugger
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
