how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
