You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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