I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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