I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
