Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
