hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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