is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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