I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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