glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
