i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
