my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
