Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
