Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
