we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
