I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
