So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
