So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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