Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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