I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
