he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't deserve a penis
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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