So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
