Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
