i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
