I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
