I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
