I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i now understand why vodka
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
