She said her name was "party"
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
