i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize