his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she peed on how many people?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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