A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
