You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
