I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
