And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
stop calling my apartment porn island.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
