It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
