I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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