we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
