Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
