my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
