When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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