i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
