how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
