oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize