yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
