is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
