Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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