imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
