we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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