Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
